VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA! The word that most vagina-owners were aggressively taught not to say as a child, and instead told to use ridiculous and sometimes funny euphemisms that often don’t make sense. Using euphemisms has become so normalised, but the truth is there’s nothing “normal” about them.

Last month, we ran a Heritage Day giveaway for a Sheba Feminine care package. To enter, we asked our community what’s the strangest or funniest word they’ve come across for vagina. We received some of the most hilarious and confusing responses, with the winner being “Gwede Mantashe” and the runner up “Gusha”. Although a lot of the responses were quite funny and we had a good laugh reading them, fun and games aside, it was clear by the sheer amount of responses that people would go to any length to create a euphemism for vagina so they didn’t have to use the word itself. This is in fact extremely troubling and a symptom of a much deeper problem!

So what’s the big deal with not using the word vagina? Using or creating euphemisms for our genitalia just further perpetuates the shame and stigma around them. Too many of us grew up not knowing how our body parts work, what their purpose is and how to take care of them properly. Instead, our body’s are shrouded in shame and we’re taught from a very young age not to ask questions and not to bring up certain topics. As children, we desperately want to feel connected to and accepted by the authority figures and loved ones in our lives. We learn that in order to be accepted, feel that connection or to be a “good child”, you need to speak and behave in a way that’s seen as “appropriate” to them.

How many of us actually had a proper, open and honest conversation with our parents or guardians about sex? How many of us found out about sex through the media, friends and other children we grew up with? How many of our parents just took it for granted that we’ll learn what we need to in Life Orientation so there’s no need for them to explain the “birds and the bees” to us? For too many of us this was our reality. Conversations around sex, sexual and reproductive health, our bodies and consent are not conversations that can be avoided any longer. Especially in a country with the highest gender-based violence and rape statistics in the world!

It’s not enough to just put aside the shame and guilt that these topics bring up, but we need to actively work through the stigma on an individual level so we can break the cycles that our parents or guardians couldn’t. Also, it’s been proven time again that talking to children or teens about sex doesn’t increase the chances of them having sex. All it does is empowers them to make informed and safe decisions.

The use of euphemisms can also be dangerous because it doesn’t encourage people to objectively learn about their bodies and gain knowledge that can empower them. Instead, the chances of someone believing the myths and stereotypes increases tenfold because they take it for granted that what they’re being told is correct. A great illustration of this is the use of the word vagina to describe the exterior part of the genitalia when actually referring to the vulva or mons pubis. (The vagina is the internal canal which leads to the cervix, and where menstrual blood leaves the body). – This proves just how much misinformation spreads! If something happens which may need medical attention, the chances of the person realising this and acting upon it becomes very slim too. Destigmatising the word vagina also contributes to full bodily autonomy and drastically shifts the relationship with your body and the world.

Being able to say the word vagina, out loud (not in a whispered or hushed tone) without hesitation is like spitting in the face of hundreds of years of patriarchal rubbish! Although using one word isn’t going to dismantle the patriarchy by itself, it’s a great way to begin dismantling the patriarchal conditioning within you in order to make conscious changes and as mentioned earlier, break cycles.

If the word vagina still makes you uncomfortable, brings up shame or guilt it’s time to do some introspection. Try and put some time aside and have an honest, vulnerable conversation with yourself (whether you have a vagina or not) about where these feelings come from. Are they even yours to begin with or have you been programmed by your community, loved ones, society or the media? It’s crucial to be compassionate, patient and kind to yourself during this process too. Beating yourself up into getting rid of these feelings won’t create change and will only make it more difficult. Showing up for yourself in this way means you’ll eventually be able to show up for others inspiring them to do the same.